My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
