it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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