one two three fourrrrnication!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize