I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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