So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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