# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I cannot find my penis.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
