I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
