I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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