I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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