I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
