Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
