It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
