super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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