How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
