Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
