from now on my penis is your penis
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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