Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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