Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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