Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize