I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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