worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
