I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
