I CAN MOONWALK!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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