A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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