we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
