i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he thought i was a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What drink are we having for lunch?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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