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we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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