4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
