Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
