dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
