i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
