oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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