can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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