hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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