p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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