So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
