before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Randomize
