He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
