I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize