is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize