I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize