she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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