She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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