Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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