Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
