my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
