you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
