well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
