Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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