Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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