i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
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We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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