Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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