Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize