he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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